To all the hurting women...

For a while now I’ve been trying to nurse a broken heart and suffice to say it has been a downhill battle: The drunken texts (for which there’s never a reply) the countless glasses of wine and endless nights out with my girlfriends trying to amputate and piece back together every detail of what went wrong and where.

Recently, on one of our ‘dismembering’ missions a fellow girlfriend told me her story of heartbreak. Suffice to say I wasn’t the only one trying to come to terms with my loss. Now when you’ve spent the past 3 months believing that your heart could not possibly be reduced to a finer pile of rubble, this sensation of course comes as a shock. When you’ve been so distracted by your own mess, looking up to find a landscape of bigger, uglier devastation than yours can be both startling and humbling.

In this spirit, I found myself talking to another dear friend of mine. I don’t wish to reveal her story but safe to say that she had given her heart out to someone and all she got back in return was pain and rejection. A few days later, another friend told me about her struggle with someone she was with for a long time, hoping she would spend the rest of her life with him, only to be told that he no longer saw her in the same light. That he had changed.

These are strong, intelligent, funny and beautiful women. Women who will someday run multinationals, save/affect the lives of others around them and still find time to have dinner on the table by 7.30pm.

These are women who will help their children with their homework, attend PTA’s, bake cupcakes for the class bake sale and still at the end of the day find time to do the laundry and pack for their husbands because he’s got an out of town business meeting the next day. And mind you, she will keep everything in mind, right down to his contact lens solution, his anti-acidity pills and his blue shirt because his eyes pop when he wears blue, because that’s just the sort of women they are. After all of that, these women will still find time for their sisters who need to talk late at night or their friends who need a shoulder to cry on.

You can hardly refer to us as normal. We are far from normal judging by the superhuman strength we posses to deal with all the hurdles being a daughter/wife/mother/sister/friend have to offer.

We are the women a handful of men decided they needed to bend us till breaking point before rejecting us. Somehow that doesn’t seem right to me at all. All though I am aware that some of these women chose to walk away from their partners, after much thought, I have arrived at the conclusion that their partners left them along time ago. Physically perhaps some of these women were strong enough to walk out, but I know for a fact, it was only because these men walked out emotionally a long time before they did.

I leave room of course for the “other side of the story” seeing that I don’t personally know some of these men, their inner conflicts and do not want to claim that I do. What I do know though is that so very few legitimate reasons exist to cause another person as much emotional pain as these women are feeling right now that most if not all of these men should be harboring some pretty deep shame and guilt for what they have done.

I have also come to the conclusion along with all these other exceptional women that there is no excuse, none at all, for a man not to fight for you. If you really want to be with someone, nothing in the world, whether good or bad, right or wrong, can or should stop you from being with the one you love. As women it is our prerogative for all that we give and all that we take, to have atleast, that; men that see us worthy enough to fight for us.

We were all told in some sense or the other that our expectations, and our ‘bubble worlds’ are too high-handed, too high-maintenance, ergo we constantly wanted something that was beyond ordinary. But let me ask you this, why not? We strive to be extraordinary everyday, live extraordinary lives and do extraordinary things, then why should our relationships be excused; because a man is too busy or too rational to deliver?

The degree to how fiercely a woman loves a man should be directly compensated with the kind of story she has with him. Maybe boys should, instead of sex-ed classes in school have a relationship-ed class. That way half our problems would be solved.

We women waste so much of our time trying to read books that help us tap into their mind-sets and figure them out but you never see the reverse. It just goes to prove how much we try. At every level we are constantly trying to understand and trying to communicate because we love them too much to lose them.

To these women…not all of you believe in a loving God, but I do and I believe that he hears and watches over you silently, in awe of how his girls have grown into such gorgeous independent women. He cannot take the trials away because its part of what keeps you growing and flourishing but he knows your pain and is with you.

And to these men…at best, you have lost out on a truly extraordinary female and at worst, metaphysical justice will be served for every tear and fear you caused to surface.

Thoughts and Opinions: Racist or Recessionist?

http://blogs.reuters.com/india/2009/06/19/attacks-on-indians-in-australia-racist-or-recessionist/

A little perspective for women out there

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending.

every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule.

but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy,

maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on.

or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope.

Can Indian Women Trust The Police?

The streets of Inderpuri were swamped with mobs of people vandalizing and damaging police vehicles after a woman claimed to be gang raped by police officers.

Although the Crime Branch is yet to conduct an inquiry into the matter, this is not the first time that law enforcers have been accused of exploiting their positions.

In 2005, a 16-year old girl was raped by a police officer in south Mumbai. According to an article Constable Sunil Atmaram More, the accused in the Marine Drive rape case, has admitted in his statement to the police that he raped the teenager after threatening to inform her parents about seeing her in a compromising position with her friend.

http://in.rediff.com/news/2005/may/04more.htm

More was in a drunken state when he raped the girl in a police chowki. He was later dismissed.

On November 28th 2006 a slum dweller woman (name withheld) from Shiv Colony in Karnal was falsely arrested and raped in police custody by constable Ram Kumar and detained for 14 days.

The Chandigarh Police recommended a regular departmental inquiry, and placed the head constable under suspension. The police denied her allegations without any investigation.

http://www.ffdaindia.in/MonthlyReviews/rapes-by-police-and-security-forces-rise/

A high court from central India had issued a notice to the Government of India and 13 other state authorities regarding the gang rape of a tribal woman, while she was trying to register a complaint about her husband's murder.

When registering the FIR at the police station she was gang raped by policemen in front of her parents. She was then forcefully detained in isolated police custody for 14 days being raped by officers regularly.

http://www.ffdaindia.in/MonthlyReviews/rapes-by-police-and-security-forces-rise/

According to the National Crimes Record Bureau (NCRB) courts tried 132 policemen for custodial rape in 2002 but only 4 were convicted.

Does this mean that women are safer not reporting any crimes committed against them?

These examples and statistics show that there are occasions when women who have sought the help of the law have only been met with more disappointment and worse, faced more trauma at the hands of police officers.

According to The Indian Penal Code and Criminal Procedure Code, reports have recognised the ongoing police abuse against women and made amendments to ensure a variety of legal protections to prevent custodial rape.

The amendments state that women cannot be forced to go to any police station for questioning against her will and she must instead be visited at home. The police must request permission to enter if a woman is present where an arrest is being attempted unless she is the person sought for arrest.

The bill also prohibits the arrest of women after sunset and before sunrise except in "exceptional circumstances."

When a woman is arrested, a female officer must do the search with “strict regard to decency and modesty”. However, the females make up only 5.4% of the Indian police force, so the realities of implementing the amendment are assumed not to be so straight foreword.

But how many women know these laws exist? And are these laws implemented?

http://www.legalserviceindia.com/articles/afse.htm

More women should be aware of their legal rights as the law has made provisions to ensure their safety, even from the lawmakers themselves.

The question remains, has the law done enough?

Racist or Recessionist?

I have been following the Australian attacks on Indian students very closely since they began and as I was skimming through the Times of India this morning I came across a few comments from people across the globe on these attacks. They were in response to a previous article TOI had published on a Sunny Bajaj who was assaulted in Melbourne.

 

One of the comments in particular stood out. The writer said, “ it is really sad to know about the attack on Sunny Bajaj in Australia. However, it could well have been an instance of robbery. Note that a black guy was also involved.”  Yes it actually said that.

 

I was shocked and to some extent titillated. Here was a clear instance of racism. I’m not sure if Mr. Onkar was trying to redeem himself by saying the attacks could well have not been racist when he was clearly making a racist statement.

 

I have been studying in the United States for three years now and till date I have not witnessed any racial attack or slur on Indians or any other nationality, and mind you, my university is very international. On the other hand, I have heard Indian students speaking in Hindi and saying things like ‘yeh saale gore log’ (these bloody white people) many times. Most of the Indian students are always in groups of other Indian students. They hardly ever mingle with the other nationalities, they speak in their native languages and you can often find them speaking loudly in buses or in the library.

 

I am an Indian student too. Yet oftentimes I have felt like my fellow Indian students were being a nuisance, however till today I have not heard a single word against Indians or any other nationality by my American friends. The point I’m trying to make is that you cannot rule out the fact that these people are being tolerant towards us.

 

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that these attacks are entirely the fault of Indian students, but what we fail to see is that these attacks could have taken place anywhere.

 

Another comment made by one Ashwath who has been living in Australia for a few years said, “ Most Indian students here live in the worst suburbs not because they can’t afford to stay at a decent place but because hey can save that extra 25 dollars a week to fund their expensive iPods and cell phones.”

 

That is another issue one needs to take into consideration. Clearly the majority of these students come from affluent families and can afford to live in a safe neighborhood, and if that’s not good enough they can easily live on campus or close to campus where there is a high amount of security.

 

Ashwath went on to say, “ The chance of robbery in these suburbs, like anywhere in the world, especially when you flaunt your gadgets, is very high.” That is not a refutable statement. Every city, town or county has its rough neighborhoods. Take England as an example, yet there continues to be a large influx of students and tourists from India every year.

 

One cannot put a finger on Australia and say it is a racist country. There is racism all over the world. I started this article based on a racist comment made by one of my own people. Even within India there is racism everywhere. We have caste systems, religious stigmas, riots and all kinds of violence over where we’re from, what sect we belong to and what god we affiliate ourselves to. Some have reaped political benefit, like the Shiv Sena, which uses racism as its electoral mascot. 

 

While these attacks are wrong, unjust and unfair, we cannot classify them as racist, at the same time the numbers are too high to classify them as opportunistic too.

 

I have friends living and studying in parts of Australia, like Gold Coast and Melbourne who are bewildered by this sudden racist label. According to them these attacks have been over hyped. As far as they are concerned, nothing has changed. People still treat them the same, yet now there is a sudden increase in phone calls from concerned family and friends, which they deem unnecessary.

 

Another point I would like to make is on these protests that are taking place. One of the rallies, which saw the participation of nearly 1,000 students, was organized by the Federation of Indian Students Association, Sydney Chapter, along with the National Union of Students. Students were chanting 'Vande Matram' and 'Baharat Mata Ki Jai'. While it’s all well and good to be patriotic I think it needs to be noted that after all you are in a different country. Behavior like that could anger people. Think about how we would react if a bunch of English students rallied and started shouting ‘ God save the Queen”.

 

Even community leaders in Melbourne have asked students to put an end to these rallies. Yadu Singh, coordinator of the Indian Consul General's community committee on Indian students' issues, said an urgent meeting in Pennant Hills, "One thing is clear - the rallies have served their purpose and we don't want any more rallies in Harris Park, that is the community's view," Singh said, adding "They are disrupting the normal life of the people in the suburbs."

 

Then there’s the issue of recession. According to an article by Sitaram Yechury for ‘People’s Democracy’ to attribute such attacks as an expression of racism alone, in the present context of global recession would be like missing the woods for the trees.  Racist outrages are an expression of a deeper malaise.  Between January 2008 and January 2009, Australia's GDP growth rate plummeted from 4.2 per cent to 0.3 per cent.  The last quarter saw company profits falling by 7.2 per cent.  Business investment tumbled at a record rate of nearly 9 per cent.  Additionally, this year has seen one of Australia's worst droughts.  As a result of this, unemployment climbed to 5.4 per cent in April 2009 from 3.9 per cent in February 2008.  The Australian Prime Minister has declared, for the first time, that the economy has moved into a state of recession.  Though the Labour government in Australia has begun distributing a whopping 9.9 billion Australian dollars to low income families directly, clearly serious problems of livelihood are affecting its people. 

 

This, coupled with the fact that Indian students often take part-time jobs to help pay for tuition could be seen as another reason for the sudden attacks. Nearly a lakh of Indian students currently study in Australia constituting 18 per cent of the entire student community there.  So there’s no doubt that these students are taking away jobs from locals.

 

These attacks have to stop. There is no question about that. As students we should expect that the environment we go to study in is safe and secure. Yet, we still have to realize that we are living in another country, that we need to respect and follow those laws and that we should also not put our selves in a situation, which could lead to such attacks. Violence can take place anywhere; we need to make sure that we take the necessary steps to stay away from such areas.

 

I’d like to end this on a lighter and slightly ironic note. Bollywood, the Indian film industry has been condemning these attacks and expressing their disapproval through blogs and the rejection of doctorates. They’ve been doing their best to boycott all ties with Australia.  However, filmmaker Mohit Suri has taken things one-step ahead and has begun scripting a movie based on the real life attacks. Is it just me or when Indians were getting attacked in England years back, London based director Puneet Sira came out with “ I proud to be Indian”.

Well if my guess is correct and a similar template is used, maybe not in real life, but in reel life, looks like the Aussies will be getting their just desserts thanks to Suri. 

http://blogs.reuters.com/india/2009/06/19/attacks-on-indians-in-australia-racist-or-recessionist/

The Future of Media

We have already said goodbye to the Rocky Mountain News, which after one hundred and fifty years of serving Colorado, printed its last paper in early February. The Seattle Post-Intelligencer ceased it’s print edition after one hundred and forty six years, and now only serves online readers with a new and improved website called the SeattlePI.com. Many more newspapers are either considering closing shop, or following in the footsteps of the Seattle Post.

 It’s a pressing time for journalists and publishers. I think everyone in the media business was aware that newspapers could no longer be the only source of income for the publications. The Internet is a fast growing source of information and with the improvements in technology everyone is moving online for up-to-date news. Yet, newspapers have always been around, they have played a vital role in the lives of readers and have served as companions at the breakfast table, coffee shops and on the commute to and from work or class. But we have to face the hard cold facts now; maybe everyone in the business was in denial of this decline. The recession however set the deadline and determined the lifespan for newspapers.

 

So what’s next?

 

In it’s March/April edition, the Columbia Journalism Review asked eight reporters from different organizations to write an article on where the news industry will be in the next five years. Two of those articles, “Unchaining the Monitor” by the editor of The Christian Science Monitor, and the other called “ Two Tents” by the editor in chief of Politico stood out. The situations they presented seem plausible, even though they were solely based on mere speculation.

 

Firstly, I think the industry has accepted the fact that major retrenchment will take place in order to sustain a news organization. But this downsizing also has its advantage. It acts like a filter, leaving us with the best in the field. That means better reporting, more efficiency and a multi-skilled work force. This was an underlying sentiment held by all the articles I have read, not just within this publication, but others. Furthermore, experts in the industry share the same sentiment.

 

According to the German publisher Axel Springer’s chief executive Mathias Döpfner, “The number of players will diminish, but the strong players may be stabler after the crisis.”

 

Coming back to the articles at hand, “Unchaining the Monitor,” to me seemed the most plausible situation in the next five years. The article accepts the fact that a lot of newspapers will shut down. However, it turns its focus to the survivors. Their future is bright, they have “ transformed themselves into true multimedia operations with a core editorial group publishing, via newsprint, mobile, the Web and … foldable electronic readers.”

 

There is an understanding within the news industry that print is dying and the future is in multimedia. Convergence is key. David Ng, executive editor of the New York Daily, said, “While I think it’s important for the news room to integrate, it’s doubly important for the business side to converge as well.”

 

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer is probably one of the best examples of this transition. Another prediction the article made was the move from a five-day a week print publication to a weekly one.

 

Raju Narisetti, managing editor of The Washington Post, shares a similar view. According to him, “eventually you might see most papers with smaller circulations that pay a lot more than 50 cents each day for the serendipity and habit of reading a physical paper.”

 

The transition from print to online is a very realistic scenario, and the article highlights that by saying The Monitor wanted “to retain longtime print subscribers and thought [they] might find some modest growth in a reduced-frequency, twelve-by-ten inch magazine/newspaper hybrid.”

 

The business model described also seems plausible. According to the article, “ traffic analysis told [them] that aggregators and people using search engines liked [their] individual articles but that, like most news operations, [they] had a hard time converting the one time visitor into a return visitor who returned.”

 

In a global context, a leading Indian newspaper publication, The Indian Express is also struggling with the same idea. How to retain readers online is a pressing issue. The business model presented in “Unchaining the Monitor” also addressed this issue saying their goal was “to quintuple page views- then five million a month- in five years.”

 

The article continued to talk about a shift in approach to journalism. The Web being more interactive, would mean ‘conversation, citizen journalism, and other forms of reader/user involvement.” Journalism is definitely going to become more interactive with the move to the Web. Blogs and individual websites have proved this.

 

According to Rick Edmonds, Poynter media business analyst, in a phone interview, “ Print will move to being more analytical and opinion based articles. The news is already available online for free, so now we need to give readers something else.”

 

That is another issue. The news is available online for free and anyone can have access to it. One of the biggest problems online newspapers are facing today is their news stories are being picked up by major search engines like Google and Yahoo. With regards to this issue, in an article in the New York Times, Ken Doctor, an analyst at Outsell, a media research firm, said, “The A.P. is trying to assert its value to the member newspapers,” by shifting the industry discussion “from fair use to fair share.”

The A.P. and other wire services have licensing agreements with Google, Yahoo and others, for some of their content to appear on those sites’ news pages, while newspapers generally do not. But general Web searches on those sites often turn up wire service material that is not covered by the agreements.

 

Matthew Jackson, a telecommunications professor at the Pennsylvania State University is skeptical about how news organizations are going to tackle this problem.

“There are copyright laws, and although Google are trying to find a solution with news providers, they still haven’t found a way to determine how the shared profits will be determined.”

 

The second article that I felt was plausible was the “Two Tents” article. It described content and also different methods of providing news rather than the traditional method of news articles and stories.

 

The venue of the article was Politico and according to the writers predictions, they “proved that niche publications, producing highly focused journalism for an audience with intense interest in particular subjects, can achieve the same ends- both editorially and financially- that in the past were the sole province of a handful of big newspapers and broadcast networks.”

 

I feel like that is a likely situation given that news is moving towards being packaged as per the consumers’ requirements. It is becoming a product that in itself needs to be marketed and have all the elements of the product mix in order to sell.

 

Narisetti furthers this idea of niche publications as he talked about whether consumers would pay for content online. According to him, “consumers will pay for certain content. The key is to give what is not competitive or what is commodity for free and charge for what is more valuable or unique even as we make the payment experience seamless.”

 

Shifting from America to the international paradigm, Europe seems to be having better luck with getting consumers to pay for content. An article in the New York Times discussed how Europe is trying to generate revenues for online content.

VG Nett, a Web site loosely affiliated with Verdens Gang, a tabloid newspaper has been doing extremely well. It has a profit margin of more than 30 percent and rivals Google as the most popular Web site in Norway.

VG Nett, like most newspaper Web sites, generates most of its revenue from advertising, but is starting to raise money from users. VG Nett recently started charging up to 780 crowns a year for live streams of soccer matches. And a social network connected with VG Nett charges users to upgrade their profiles. Access to news, however, remains free.

 

Both Jackson and Edmonds drew the comparison between the news industry and the music industry in light of making a profit. Few Europeans are unwilling to pay for music directly, through services like iTunes, so the industry is instead bundling music costs into a broadband subscription, like basic cable channels do in the United States.

The Washington-based Project for Excellence in Journalism, however is skeptical of applying micro payments to newspapers, and has suggested providing access to newspaper Web sites for a fee paid at the Internet service provider level. For such models to succeed, newspapers would have to work together.

 

As for the methods of delivering news, I feel like most news organizations will move in the same direction. Consumers are bored of the old way news is delivered, more so the younger generation who are what will sustain the news industry in the future. The youth today are more technologically savvy and access news online. However, moving beyond the Web 2.0, other delivery mechanisms are also available, all mind you, that are based on the Internet. Blackberrys, iPhones and even other cellular devices provide access to the news with a click of a button. All news organizations need to do is make an agreement with the network provider and have them add on a fee to the data package. That fee can go to news organizations providing the news to start with.

 

According to Politico’s predictions, video dispatches from journalists on the road will become wildly popular. They will have daily Web TV program, even though a “little cheesy, perhaps, but damned if it does not routinely get two hundred thousand viewers a day.”

 

The bottom line however, is the news industry is changing. Viveck Goenka, chairman of the Indian Express Newspaper Group is concerned about the possibility of a decline in investigative journalism. “ If news organizations around the world don’t come up with a sustainable business model we might have to cut costs in terms of the kind of content as well,” he said. This is worrying as one of the main roles the media plays in society other than being a news provider, is that of a watchdog.

 

I am hopeful however, that the news industry will collectively come to adopt a business model that will not only retain the key elements of journalism but will also be able to profit from them. The news industry has taken a beating from the Internet. Classifieds have been lost to Craig’s List and other websites and Google and Yahoo have been leeching off news providers.

 

However, having gotten over the biggest hurdle, the acceptance of the fact that print will no longer sustain the media is a big positive for the news industry. As of now one can only speculate, through trial and error I feel a business model will emerge from which the news industry will benefit. Will newspapers be around for another ten to fifteen years? I would like to believe they would. We may be a fast moving society, but I think it may take some time before we cut out a tangible source of news from our lives.

 

 

 

 

Fool Proof

“Holy crap Rach, we’re really screwed tomorrow,” said Sam over the telephone.

“Chill, chill, I’ll think of something I promise. I’m sure we’ll get out of this. Look if we’re going to get fucked we might as well enjoy it,” I replied chuckling.

I always did this. Every time I got nervous about something I ended up saying something crude or stupid trying to shed some humor to the situation. This time it did not seem to work.

“ What is wrong with you woman? Are you seriously insane? How the hell can you be casual about this? No, Rach what the hell are we going to do? Seriously I’m flipping out,” she babbled on.

Sam was starting to get on my nerves now. How the hell was I supposed to know what to do? The five of us were in the same mess together and why was everyone expecting me to bail us out of this? I put the end of the pencil that I was playing with in my mouth and started to chew on the eraser bit.

“ If we don’t go to school tomorrow then we don’t have to take the exam. Just don’t go to school tomorrow,” I said, thinking it was a good idea.

“ Are you a moron? Where is your fucking brain Rachel? Our parents all know we have this exam tomorrow. There is no way any of us are going to be able to get out of school tomorrow. Besides, we had all weekend to study for it but no, you wanted to go for that stupid concert and talked us all into it,” she retorted.

I hated when Sam did this. Okay fine, yes I procrastinated. Yes, we all should have studied for our French exam, but it was an Aerosmith concert and I really wanted to go. I felt a little bad. There was no way my parents would have let me go without the girls. It was an overnight weekend concert and they obviously did not trust me. I had to talk Sam and the other girls to come with me. Okay think Rach, how do we get out of this mess now?

“ Sam, I’ll call you back. Don’t say anything to anyone yet. Let me just think about it. I’m sorry but just trust me I’ll find a way to get out of this,” I said.

“ Whatever Rach, just call me back soon okay?” she said sounding worried.

“Yeah, yeah I will. Toodles,” I said.

I got off the phone with Sam and sat down on my bed. I resumed chewing my pencil and thought hard. I had almost chewed off most of the eraser when an idea struck me. It was perfect and fool proof.

Picking up my phone, I punched in Sam’s number and told her to get the other three girls on conference with us.

It didn’t take long for her to get Alex, Jo and Tash on the phone. Sam was good at rallying the troops. I was the one that roused them up.

Tash and Jo were on her landline speakerphone, while Sam, Alex and I were on speaker on her cell phone. (Honestly I don’t know how she does it).

“ Okay girls. I’ve got a plan. And before saying anything and interrupting me just listen okay?” I said.

There were four “Fine’s” and I began narrating my plot.

“ So here’s what we do. You know how behind the school, up near the football field there’s the wire fence with all the trees? Well there’s one bit, which is well covered, with trees so no one can really see anything,” I said.

First interruption. I was expecting this anyways.

“ Rach, how do you know that?” barked Alex

“ Oh I go down there sometimes between class to sneak a cigarette with Dan and Kyle,” I said, quickly regretting that I didn’t.

“ Rach! I’ve told you a million times not to smoke in school. What if you get caught? You’ll get expelled!” said Sam.

God! Sometimes I really hated how annoying my friends could be.

“ You know they’ll never expel me,” I said cockily. “I’m a model student and the head of every major student organization in school. Plus I’m basketball and house captain. They can’t expel me,” I continued. Why were these shit heads digressing I thought.

“ Okay whatever, can we get back to my plan,” I snapped.

“ Go on,” sighed Jo and Alex together. I was pretty sure Sam was rolling her eyes and Tash was trying to muffle her laughter. I loved Tash. She was gutsy and rebellious like me, but way more subtle.

“ Well I’ll get a wire cutter with me tomorrow. All of us come to school normally, but carry a change of clothes,” I said.

Second interruption.

“ What? Why?” shouted Sam. “Rach what the hell are we doing tomorrow?”

I wanted to punch Sam right now. I was trying to get us out of this pickle and all she kept doing was annoying me.

“ Seriously? Well my plan is that we skip school, climb through the wire mesh, call a cab to the back of the school near the water tower and then go out somewhere. We can wait till school’s almost done, take a cab back in time and then just go in through the primary section because they get out early. Coach Shannon goes to pick her daughter up, so if anyone asks just say it’s about after school practice,” I said, sounding very pleased with myself.

Rightfully enough, there were four immediate reactions.

“ Are you crazy?” yelled Sam.

“ That’s brilliant Rach!” laughed Tash.

“ What?” said Alex.

“ Rach, there’s no way we can get away with all that,” said Jo.

“ You guys are fucking morons seriously. People skip school all the time. Trust me, no one’s going to know. Their just going to assume we’re sick or something. They never call our parents anyways to find out if we’re actually sick. Plus no one would ever expect us to skip school. Especially when we have an exam,” I said.

“ You know she does have a point,” said Tash. I loved Tash. She always backed me up at everything.

“ Rach your actually serious about this?” said Sam. I could tell she was getting convinced. That was how desperate we all were.

“ You guys, we’re all really good students. We always get A’s, the teachers love us, the principals in my pocket, and besides we’re not doing this for some joy ride or thrill factor. We’re actually desperate. And our parents will never find out. Come on. Get with the program”.

“ I’m in,” said Tash.

“ Yeah. Rach is right. We are desperate,” said Alex.

“ Me too. I’ll do it,” said Jo.

Sam was the only one left to be convinced. I knew she was hesitating. This is classic Sam. She’ll hesitate and go back and forth but in the end she always gave in. She just needed the extra push.
Tash came to the rescue.

“ Sam think about it. Do you really want to fail the exam? Or skip school tomorrow, study all day and then get an A. It would ruin your average if you don’t. Think about it. Think about college,” said Tash.

Okay so she was getting a little dramatic talking about college and everything. It was just a stupid little mid term but all of us were very particular and OCD about our grades.

“ Fine. Whatever,” said Sam. And that was how Samantha Brown gave in.

“ Good, now that that’s settled, don’t forget to get a change of clothes tomorrow. We can’t be running around in uniforms. If a cop sees us, or a teacher we can get into a lot of trouble. So change of clothes and please act as normal as possible. Sam, you especially,” I said.

“ Yeah, yeah I know,” she said. “ So we’re meeting outside school tomorrow then?” she asked.

“ No you idiot. People will see us. Just come to school at the usual time and go to the boys’ bathroom in the gym. We can easily walk out on the steps that lead to the football field and there are no classes scheduled there during first period,” I said.

“ You my girl, are bloody brilliant,” said Tash.

“ I try,” came my cocky reply. I had to admit it was a pretty good plan though.

“ Anyways, can I go now? I want to go watch Gossip Girls before bed.

“ Oh. I forgot that was on tonight. Yeah I better go too. We’ll see you tomorrow. Good night hun,” said Tash.

The other three mumbled goodbyes and I put the phone down. My ear was hot from holding my cell phone there for so long but a smile spread across my face as I thought about the next day. The plan was definitely was foolproof.


The next morning I shoved a pair of jeans and a t-shirt into my sling bag. I had put the wire cutter in my bag the night before after stealing it from my father’s toolbox. I went downstairs and sat down to have breakfast with my mother.

“ So you’re prepared for this exam?” she asked.
“ Uh huh,” I replied chewing through my piece of toast.
“ I haven’t seen you studying all weekend,” bantered my mother.
“ I studied. Chill. Relax woman. Your always so paranoid about everything,” I said.
“ Just make sure you do well okay? No B’s or C’s. I only want A’s from you,” she pressed on.
“ Yeah mom. Take a chill pill. I’m out. Bye. See you after school,” I said, walking towards my front door.

“ Read the questions twice and go over…” I shut the door before she could finish. God why was everyone so anal about everything.

I got to school and walked straight to the boys’ bathroom. The girls were already there.

“ Oh my God Rach where the hell have you been,” said Sam.

“ Having breakfast,” I said. Tash and I both laughed and high fived each other while Sam gave me a really dirty look.

“ Okay. Change and we can call a cab. I’ve got the wire cutter,” I said.

Alex took out the phone and dialed the cab company since she was already dressed. I heard her give directions to the cab company as I pulled my t-shirt over my head. I told the girls to stay back while I went and cut the fence down so it did not look too obvious what we were doing.

The wire cutter worked like a charm and in about five minutes I had cut down on one side and bent the wire back so we could all climb out. I ran back to the boys’ bathroom to where the girls were waiting.

“ Okay so that’s done. Now lets just wait for the cab. Alex you keep watch and we’ll run as soon as it come,” I said.

“ Fine. I don’t know where you come up with these mad ideas,” she replied.

In about ten minutes our cab was there and we snuck out as carefully as possible. I had butterflies in my stomach and part of me was excited, the other a little nervous. We managed to get over the fence okay and into the cab. We all knew the cab driver wasn’t going to ask us any questions but none of us had decided where we were going to go.

“ Where are we going?” asked Sam.

“ Lets go to the hookah place we always go to. People know us there, won’t ask any questions and it’s away from teachers and school,” said Jo.

“ Yeah that’s a good idea,” said Sam and told the cab driver where to take us.

We got to the hookah place okay and sat down, relieved on the plush couches around the place. We did say we were skipping school to study and we had brought our books, so one by one we pulled out our French books and notes from our bags and started to study.

I’m pretty sure we looked funny. Five girls sitting around a hookah place at eight in the morning, smoking hookah and cigarettes and studying like our life depended on it. We didn’t say much to each other for the rest of the time. We honestly just sat there and tried to salvage whatever time we had in order to do really well on the test we were planning on taking the next day.

Around noon we ordered some burgers and fries and sat around chatting about what we thought was going to be on the test. We forgot where we were, forgot that we had skipped school and just sat there like model students doing our work and eating. After we were done, we decided to quiz each other on our French vocabulary when Sam suddenly looked shocked.

“ You guys, are none of you scared? I just realized what we did and I am a little scared to go back,” she said.

“ Chill Sam, I’m sure it will be okay. I’m positive nothing’s going to happen. Just chill. We’re leaving soon anyways so don’t worry about it,” I said.

“ Yeah, Rach your right. Sorry,” said Sam.

An hour later we were all ready to leave and had done more than enough studying to be confident that we were all going to get an A on our exam. We called a cab and made our way back to school, the whole way laughing about how we got away with our little scheme. The girls kept slapping me on the back and congratulating me on my brilliant plan and I couldn’t help feel really proud of myself. I had gotten away with it.

As we turned into the road that led up to the school my mouth dropped. Nothing, trust me nothing could have prepared me for this.

There were four cars in front of us that were jus waiting in one line and I instantly recognized all of them. My mother, my father and my two uncles were waiting for us.

“ Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! We’re fucked. I’m fucked. My parents are going to fucking kill me,” I panicked.

As we drove up, I made eye contact with my mother who I could tell was fuming. I couldn’t figure it out. The girls and I were panicking. HOW THE HELL DID THEY FIND OUT?

The four cars surrounded our cab and the driver was forced to stop. My mother jumped out of her car, (God help me I thought) and pulled our door open.
“ Get out. All you girls are in big trouble. Get out and go straight to the principal’s office. NOW!” she yelled.

I didn’t want to look at her and honestly I just wanted to walk ahead of the girls. Principal I could handle, Mom, no fucking way. I didn’t even want to try.

As I tried to walk away, my mother grabbed me by my arm and slapped me right across my face. Tears were streaming down here face and I could tell she was really, really upset.

“ Have you no respect for me? What is wrong with you? What if the cab driver took you girls somewhere in the desert and raped all of you? How would we find you? You couldn’t even call and tell me what you were doing? No! You had to go off. I’ve been worried for the past three hours,” she yelled at the top of her voice.

Okay, now keep in mind that schools already over by this point and there are kids everywhere, and here was my mother whacking me and yelling at the top of her lungs. I however, was too shit scared to even be embarrassed.

“ The school called! They said all of you were not in school today and they got worried especially since all of you had an exam. They wanted to know if you were sick,” she continued yelling. Then she turned to the girls and said, “ Oh your parents are waiting for you girls in the principals office.”

Now all of us were pretty much shitting ourselves. We just stood there while my mother continued yelling at us as we looked down at our feet.

“ March! Now! Office,” she barked, like a fire breathing dragon.

We made it up to the principal’s office, some kids chuckled as they saw us, and others I could tell just felt plain bad. As we walked in, there were four pairs of parents just as pissed off as my mother.

I don’t know how long the shouting went on for. Each parent was drowning the other one out. It was quite funny actually but had I laughed right now I’d have really had it.
When they finally calmed down (I think they just were out of breath) Sam explained why we had done what we did. Our principal listened to us and surprisingly was really nice about the whole issue. None of us were going to get into any trouble since that was the first time we had broken school rules. It was the first time I got caught.

My mother however being the martyr/ savior/ saint that she thinks she is was furious with my principal.

“ How can you let these girls get away with this? I want to se some punishment,” she said. “ My daughter needs to learn a lesson.”

Oh God. I hated my mother sometimes. The principal said he couldn’t punish the other girls because their parents were not insisting on any kind of punishment. But since my mother was he gave me three days of in school suspension. Not bad I thought. I got to spend three days chatting away with my principal who was very fond of me.

But the worst was yet to come.

When the whole charade was over and everyone had gone home, all my mother said to me was “ Eat your lunch.”

My father hadn’t said a word to me up till this point and I knew I was in for a huge lecture later on that day. But what he did I did not expect.
As soon as I was done eating my lunch, I felt someone yank my hair into a ponytail and before I knew what was happening I heard my mom scream, “Darling not that short.”

My dad had just chopped off five feet of my hair.

My hair was my mascot. I modeled for it. People were always complimenting me on it. It was my biggest asset and I was more proud of it than anything else.

I can’t remember for how long I cried that day. My mother felt sorry for me and held me the entire time. She was nice enough to even take me to the hairdresser and get my hair cleaned up from the rough cut my dad gave me. I hated my dad and I swore I would never speak to him. I felt ugly. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror and I was dreading going to school the next day. I had always had long hair and now I had an ugly bob with an even uglier bang on one side. My dad I could tell was sadistically happy and I even remember calling him a sadist and a narcissist.

I didn’t want to go to school the next day because I knew everyone would make fun of me. I knew I looked really different and the whole school knew what happened by this point. My father however, being a sadist insisted I go or I would get another months worth of grounding.

When I walked into school it was like people were honestly waiting to see what I looked like. What I didn’t expect though, were the flow of compliments I kept getting from people. Apparently (I did not see this) I looked like a chic French model. Everyone thought my bob was extremely sassy and suited me really well. At first I thought people were just making me feel better but it was only until the girls dragged me to the bathroom and forced me to look into the mirror that I actually realized how awesome I looked.

That day went extremely well for me. Kids kept walking into my principal’s office to see my hair and even teachers came. Everyone wanted to see me and not one person said anything bad about my hair. I was suddenly the most popular girl in school and one teacher even went to the extent of saying that I was going to be a legend in this school.

When I went home that day my father was the first person to ask me how it was. I could see the sadistic smile on his face. I could tell he was waiting for me to blow up at him at tell him how I hated his punishment. He wanted me to feel some remorse for what I did and that was his way of achieving that.

I however, calmly walked up to him and said, “ Daddy, my day was awesome. And you know what? I love my hair. In fact I’m going to keep it like this for a while. Everyone loved it in school and I think this was the best thing you’ve ever done for me.”

I kissed him on his check and walked off to my room as he stared dumbfounded after me.

My plan did end up being a really good one after all. I got an A on my French exam, three dates and an awesome, awesome haircut.