Living between two cultures

World War II was the beginning of an end. People saw horrors like no other and witnessed a time where war was not the only tragedy.

The Swastika of Destruction For all those people during the war and more important, the people who lived during the reign of Hitler and through the Holocaust, this symbol still stirs ghosts of the past. This one symbol has the power to open closed wounds and in a blink of an eye bring back monstrosities that cannot be forgotten. The swastika.

During Hitler's reign in Nazi Germany the swastika canopied Germany and all her colonies. It was a symbol of power and control. In his diary, the Mein Kampf Hitler wrote "I myself, meanwhile, after innumerable attempts, had laid down a final form; a flag with a red background, a white disk, and a black swastika in the middle. After long trials I also found a definite proportion between the size of the flag and the size of the white disk, as well as the shape and thickness of the swastika." Hitler stated that "As National Socialists, we see our program in our flag. In red we see the social idea of the movement, in white the nationalistic idea, in the swastika the mission of the struggle for the victory of the Aryan man, and, by the same token, the victory of the idea of creative work, which as such always has been and always will be anti-Semitic."


Because of its use by Hitler and the Nazis and, in modern times, by neo-Nazis and other hate groups, for many people in the West, the swastika is associated primarily with Nazism and white supremacy. Hence, outside historical contexts, it has become taboo in Western countries. However what would you say to people of Indian origin, when you remove the red background and white disc of the German flag and are left with only the swastika? The swastika, as most people may not know is also an extremely important Hindu religious symbol. It symbolizes well being and is used all over Hindu history. Even today the swastika is used during festivals. How then can one symbol spell horror for some people and virtue for others? The swastika therefore is a very controversial symbol. However, controversial as it may be, the real question is how effective is it, and to who?

The Swastika Redefined The swastika has held a place of great importance in India and Asia for thousands of years, and is widely used by Hindus, Jains and Buddhists. The swastika is to be seen everywhere across the Indian sub-continent: sculptured into temples both ancient and modern, decorating buildings, houses, shops, painted onto public buses, in taxis - even decorating the dashboards of the three-wheeler motor rickshaws. Many religious and spiritual books display the symbol. It may well be the most prevalent symbol one will see in India. It has been seen as a symbol for good luck by people in both ancient and modern times. A closer look at the etymology of this Sanskrit word, however, reveals a deeper meaning. When the Sanskrit scholar and spiritual teacher, P.R. Sarkar visited Germany in 1979 he gave the following interpretation of the word: su - means "good", asti - means "to be, to exist", ik - means "what is in existence, and will continue to exist" and a - denotes feminine gender. So "Swastika" means a 'good existence' that is not to be destroyed and that remains in a good condition. Sarkar went on to say that its deeper meaning is permanent victory. In the context of the cultural origins of the swastika, this means the victory of dharma - the fundamental spiritual nature of humanity.
The Nazi Swastika In Nazi Germany, the swastika with its arms turned clockwise became the national symbol. In 1910, a poet and nationalist Guido von List suggested that the swastika as a symbol for all anti-Semitic organizations. When the National Socialist Party was formed in 1919, it adopted the ancient symbol, the swastika, giving it the worst meaning possible, destroying the good symbolism which the swastika had held for thousands of years prior. Today, whenever the ancient symbol is used, it is automatically assumed by most people that it is a Nazi symbol and that the people who use it are Nazis. When the Nazis took the ancient symbol, they erased the good meaning of the swastika, the symbol of purity and of life. The racist people of today further degrade the meaning of the ancient symbol by spray painting the swastika on people houses, cars, and even schools.

In February 2005, the European Union dropped plans to ban the use of the swastika in its 25 member states. The proposal from German Conservatives, Liberals and Social Democrats in the European Parliament had been for the banning of all Nazi symbols, however, it proved impossible for member states to agree on which symbols should be banned and the proposal was dropped. The controversy arose when Prince Harry, third in line to the British throne, wore a Nazi costume and a swastika armband to a fancy dress party. The resulting proposal to introduce an E.U. wide ban on the swastika led to much discussion amongst different groups and organizations that use the symbol in their culture or religion. Most people are ignorant to the fact that the swastika was not only a Nazi symbol, symbolizing death and destruction. This is a prime example of how the world delineates the swastika as a bad symbol, and how the Nazis destroyed the meaning of the symbol by adopting it as their own.

The swastika symbolizes so much more than what the Nazis planned. The swastika existed as a symbol of good fortune thousands of years before the Nazis even existed. The symbol is to many cultures an important one, representing their history and beliefs. The Nazis, by taking the swastika, annihilated the significance of the ancient symbol. Today, the swastika is to most people a symbol of evil, a symbol of demise, and a symbol of ruination. It is extremely depressing to find that although the swastika is a symbol of life, and symbol of joy, it has been made a symbol of harm, something the people of the ancient world never intended it to be. Regardless of whether the swastika represented all those things, I personally feel that the swastika is offensive. Although I am Indian and I have grown up with the symbol, I believe that the swastika was marketed at a time when people were segregated, classed as useful and useless, genocide swept nations and people were treated with a fate worse than death. Being a student of History, I read countless accounts of events that took place during the Nazi regime. How babies were smashed to death while mothers watched horror struck. How people were left to rot in their own feces, stacked like books one on top of the other. How people were promised freedom, if only they went through a door, only to be gassed to death. Countless accounts and pictures depict these terrible things that happened to people. In Hitler's own words, the nation intended "to promote the victory of the better and the stronger and demand the subordination of the inferior and weaker." Hitler targeted not only Jews but homosexuals, gypsies, and the handicapped. Medical experiments were performed on people, which included placing subjects in pressure chambers, testing drugs on them, freezing them, attempting to change eye color by injecting chemicals into children's eyes, and various amputations and other brutal surgeries. An account of a woman in Auschwitz stated that two children were taken away, when they returned, they were in a terrible state: they had been sewn together, back to back, like Siamese twins. Their wounds were infected and oozing pus. They screamed day and night. Then their parents managed to get some morphine and they killed the children in order to end their suffering.

If this was the plight of all those people who suffered during Nazi Germany then I do not think that the swastika is a symbol worthy of being paraded. The goal of the Third Reich was never in accordance with the universal spiritual victory that the swastika represents.

So in conclusion, it was never about what the swastika was initially about but what it came to be and what it stands for today. We as people owe it to all those who suffered at the hands of the Nazi's and to respect their death. The last thing we should be doing is flaunting a representation of inhumanity.

What ever happened to customer service?

In its March edition, Time magazine featured '10 ideas that are changing the world'. Of these 10, the one that I found quite amusing was idea number 2, The End of Customer Service. What astounds me is how as a society, we have welcomes this phenomena with open arms.

Intially the idea of self dependence was liberating. Being able to self check in at airports instead of waiting in long lines, only to have to switch to another queue, ATM's, and even self check out counters at supermarkets. All of these were luxuries.

Time magazine posed a very valid question, ' By adding all these new tasks to our daily routine, are we overstressing ourselves and reducing our quality of life?'.

Now, just to clarify, these new tasks that Time is referring to are things like the ' Airport of the Furture, that Alaskan Airlines is building in Seattle. The ticket counter has been obliterated; only islands of self-service-check-in kiosks remain'. ' In Malaysia, IBM has outfitted a chain of sushi restaurants with ordering screens linked to the kitchen; so much for waitresses'. Out of all these examples that Time put forward, the one that was truely a shame was ' Heritage Valley Health Hospital System in Pennsylvania, that will soon join ranks with hospitals using chek-in kiosks for emergency-room visits. Simply touch the image of the human body where it hurts'.


So going back to the question that Time magazine put forward. I think we are overstressing ourselves. Ever call up your bank, or your cell phone company? Have you like most others, wasted time, pressing buttons only to find yourself talking to a computerized voice that really can't help you, because well, your query was a few buttons behind. I always find myself directly dialling zero to speak to an operator. Somehow, even though they can't always help you, it is comforting knowing a 'human' is trying to help you instead of a computer.

So where are we now? I feel like I am stuck between a generation that was moving towards a slightly more tech-savvy way or life and a generation that is literally drowning in it. To be quite frank, I prefer the prior.

There is something almost romantic about quaint little shops, there's a certain warmth when you talk to the old man behind the counter and he hands you your goodies in a little brown paper bag.

Nowadays all we have are computers and plastic. Theres no romance left, no people to help people, but rather a world where we have to help ourselves.

I was thinking about the health systems that Time mentioned, and it dawned upon me, that these kiosks could offer no compassion, no sympathy, no comforting words to someone who just brought in a patient that had to be admitted. Is that really the world we want to live in?

I think as a society we are losing track of the little things in life, we are forgetting simplicities and we are so wrapped up in this technological world that some of us even forget to look out a window, or take a walk to enjoy nature. None of us could survive without our cellphones or laptops.

So in response to Time Magazines question, yes I do think we are reducing our quality of life. It is not just a matter of customer service, but the principle behind it. Forget the fact that it takes away jobs from people, but it also takes away a piece of who we are as human beings.

It takes away our ability to do something for some, it robs us of the action of giving, and it supresses our humanity. Afterall, if we cannot help each other, we cannot help ourselves.
NB:- Some of the information in this article was taken from Time Magazine.

The Da Vinci Code - Truth behind fiction?

Truth behind Fiction

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
The Da Vinci Code is one of the most brilliant books ever written and later produced into a movie. Although the book and movie are fictitious, the argument that Brown presents cannot be ignored. The impact the book and movie has had on people is colossal. ‘Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Archbishop of Genoa and a possible successor to the Pope, immediately took up the fight by claiming that the novel was a deliberate attempt to discredit the Roman Catholic Church through absurd and vulgar falsifications.[1] Brown has ingeniously sculpted a theory on Christianity and the Holy Grail. ‘Referring to the Council of Nicaea, Brown claims that "until that moment in history, Jesus was viewed by His followers as a mortal prophet … a great and powerful man, but a man nonetheless."[2]. Countless examples like these throughout his work have left readers thinking why not?
Although the theory of the Holy Grail existed before Brown wrote the book, people never considered that theory could possibly be true until the Da Vinci Code came out. The reason behind this being that Dan Brown took history and facts and interpreted them to present the theory of the Holy Grail. US Catholic bishops launched a website rebutting the key claims in the novel. The bishops were concerned about what they perceive as serious mis-statements. So how could a book that was mere fiction cause such a stir, that priests and bishops were launching websites in order to convince people that the book was not true?
The impact comes down to the story telling of Brown and how he uses history to his advantage. Brown manages to persuade many people that the greatest story ever told was in fact a hoax. The truth being that Jesus Christ was married to Mary Magdalene, that they had children, that there was a Priory of Sion, Knights that protected Mary and the secret blood line of Jesus. With the Bible playing a central role in Christianity, the question of Scripture's historic validity bears tremendous implications. Brown claims that Constantine commissioned and bankrolled a staff to manipulate existing texts and thereby divinize the human Christ. Brown also went on to write about how Leonardo Da Vinci was a grandmaster at one point, protecting the secret himself and depicting it in The Last Supper. Brown discusses Constantine, the Counsel of Nicaea and Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland. He uses all these things and presents his theory. It is essential to look deeper into them to see whether Brown had reasonable evidence to convince people.
Constantine
Like Brown writes, Constantine was in fact a pagan emperor. He was baptized on his deathbed. In 313 Constantine announced toleration of Christianity in the Edict of Milan, which removed penalties for professing Christianity and returned confiscated Church property.[3] The reason behind this being that Christianity was high on the rise and Constantine did not want a divided Rome. It was Constantine that called for the Counsel of Nicaea.
The Counsel of Nicaea
First Council of Nicaea, held in Nicaea (present-day Iznik in Turkey), was the first Ecumenical council of the early Christian Church, and most significantly resulted in the first uniform Christian doctrine, called the Nicene Creed. With the creation of the creed, a precedent was established for subsequent 'general councils of Bishops, the intent being to define unity of beliefs for the whole of Christendom.
The purpose of the council was to resolve disagreements in the Church of Alexandria over the nature of Jesus in relationship to the Father; in particular, whether Jesus was of the same substance as God the Father or merely of similar substance. Another result of the council was an agreement on when to celebrate the resurrection the most important feast of the ecclesiastical calendar. The council decided in favor of celebrating the resurrection on the first Sunday after the first full moon, independently of the Bible’s Hebrew Calendar.[4]
Since the Counsel of Nicaea did take place, and the fact that belief of Christianity was defined by ‘people’, why could it not be possible that there was a cover up over the immortality and divinity of Jesus? There is no proof suggesting that Jesus did not have a family, but here we have proof that mere mortals debated over Jesus’ life and death, and then decided to present that as fact. Brown emphasizes this fact throughout his book. Brown claims "almost everything our fathers taught us about Christ is false." Why? Because of a single meeting of bishops in 325, at the city of Nicea in modern-day Turkey. There, Brown argues, church leaders who wanted to consolidate their power base (he calls this, anachronistically, "the Vatican," or "the Roman Catholic church") created a divine Christ and an infallible Scripture—both novelties that had never before existed among Christians.


The Knights Templar
The Templar’s' success was tied closely to the Crusades; when the Crusaders suffered defeat and lost the Holy Land, support for the Order faded. Rumors about the Templar’s' secret initiation ceremony created mistrust, and King Philip IV of France, deeply in debt to the Order, began pressuring Pope Clement V to take action. In 1307, King Philip had many of the Order's members in France arrested, tortured into giving false confessions, and burned at the stake.[5] In 1312, Pope Clement V, under continuing pressure from King Philip, disbanded the Order.
The abrupt disappearance of a major part of the European infrastructure gave rise to speculation. Could it not be possible that the Pope was being threatened by the Templars? They had grown strong and were very powerful, so it is quite possible that the Church was feeling threatened. The Templars did protect a secret according to Brown; they were the protectors of the Holy Grail, of the royal bloodline of Jesus. It is no surprise that people actually consider this theory because of the history behind it and because of the links between the Templars and the Church. So in essence of all of this, could it be possible that the claim Brown makes in his book is true? That after the Council of Nicaea where the divinity of Jesus was decided, could it not be possible that Jesus was in fact a mere moral, that he had children and was married.
So, is it beyond the realm of possibility that the Church felt threatened by this bloodline of Jesus and sought to destroy it? If that were true then it should come as no surprise that there was a protective order for Mary Magdalene’s safety. In his book Brown claims that Mary was pregnant at the time of the crucifixion of Jesus, that the Knights Templar led her way to a secret place where she gave birth to a baby girl called Sarah. It is ironic that the child is called Sarah because Sarah in French means Princess. This girl would in fact be a princess as both Mary and Jesus were descendents of Kings.
The Last Supper
One of the most important key features in Browns novel is Leonardo Da Vinci’s Last Supper. According to Brown the painting depicts the idea that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene and as Brown states, it was she who was supposed to carry on his Church and not St Peter. Brown describes the painting, uncovering the hidden implications. The figure on the right hand of Jesus, with red flowing red hair, folded feminine hands and a hint of a bosom is Mary Magdalene. Brown focuses on the way their clothed, like mirror images. She is joined at Jesus’ hip and is leaning away from him to create a ‘V’ shape, which is the symbol for the womb. Recently an article stated that ‘an Italian musician and computer technician claims to have uncovered musical notes encoded in Leonardo Da Vinci's "Last Supper."[6] So if years later, people are finding music encoded in the painting, it is quite possible for Da Vinci to have included secret messages. Da Vinci is said to be one of the Grand Masters of the Priory. It would have been within his duty to pass the message on someway without suffering the wrath of the church.
Rosslyn Chapel
In the book, Brown’s protagonist goes to Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland because the Holy Grail is said to be there. The architecture within the chapel depicts what Brown is telling us. That it is where the sarcophagus of Mary Magdalene is, and where the Grail documents are hidden. In the novel the protagonist finds a rose in place of the sarcophagus (the rose was a symbol for Mary Magdalene), and he finds records that go back to the death of Christ. The documents show a line of Merovingian kings with the name St Clair. The irony here is that Rosslyn Chapel was built by one William Sinclair who was a descendent of the Norman Knights. Within the chapel stands a pillar called the Princess Pillar which holds the engraving ‘wine is strong, a king is stronger, women are stronger still but truth conquers all’.[7] The ‘green men’ carvings all over the chapel symbolize fertility.
The chapel has been a burial place for several generations of the Sinclair’s. The parallels here are too much to ignore. Rosslyn Chapel is covered with symbols of fertility, William Sinclair was said to be ‘a Grand Master’[8] at some point, the chapel holds generations of Sinclair’s and here Brown is telling a story which involves these very things. Brown did not make up the whole façade. There is truth to a lot that he has presented. How ironic is it that the very chapel Brown chose for the Grail documents to be hidden has a pillar called the Princess Pillar (Princess in French is Sarah- the very name of the ‘daughter’ of Jesus) and he pillar states that women are stronger than men and kings?
The exigency here is irrefutable. If Brown’s theories were true, the repercussions would be colossal. It would shake the foundation of Christianity and everything half the world believes in. There have been wars in the past because of religion, however what would happen if the greatest story ever told was a lie. The church would face serious damage.

Brown however, maintains that his novel was just a work of fiction. The novel ends very diplomatically saying ‘what matters is what you believe’. Sure, there may be many people influenced by Brown’s work. People who may question their beliefs and feel that maybe, just maybe there is more than what meets the eye. Christians have for thousands of years believed in what the Bible and the Church have told us. Questioning our faith could be seen as treachery; however I believe that people who do question their faith, and still believe are far more commendable. After all, what is the point in believing in something blindly? There is no passion there. If one has to believe one should look at all the counter arguments and theories. And if one still believes, that is the true test of faith. Brown’s work is brilliant and captivating but it is still fiction. After all, Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Travel Diaries

Jungle Calling

This summer brought along with it the opportunity of a lifetime. There were talks in my home about a trip to the Jim Corbett National Park just outside New Delhi. My father being a wildlife junkie often went there with his entourage of domestic help. He had been here so often that he was given special permission to go to the core areas of the jungle. Now I love animals, but actually living in the jungle wasn't my idea of fun. The whole trip was planned by my father and my boyfriend so in the end I decided to tag along. If nothing, the mosquito bites ad insects and jungle life were worth being with my two best men.

This trip was a definite experience for me. Having never taken a train in my life, I set out for a night's journey in the first class cabin of the New Delhi railway. I was too excited to sleep, and so was my boyfriend so we lay awake all night whispering about the jungle across our bunks. We were both psyched and were discussing the kinds of animals we would see. Morning came and before we knew it we were out on the platform, an hour's drive away from the jungle. It was freezing cold, and considering we were at such a high altitude the wind didn't really help much. The drive made up for the weather though. I had never seen anything that raw or beautiful in my life. It was as though someone had painted a picture out of the jungle book. I felt part of it. Everything began to hit me and I slowly tried to consume it all. The rich peacock of the leaves, the height of some trees that could put a sequoia to shame and the way the sunlight bore through the gaps of the canopy were breathtaking. It was like emerald with gilded gold.


All of a sudden the jungle had come alive. I heard noises I had never heard before. It was as though the trees were whispering to each other. We'd catch a brief glimpse of a paradise fly catcher here and there which looked like silver flying squirrels. They really were tiny birds with long tails and they flew as though they were gliding from one tree to another.

I had been to Corbett three times prior to this trip but I only ended up staying a day. I never saw what was so astounding about seeing animals in the wild. For me it was always as good as going to the zoo. However, this particular trip was different as my boyfriend coming along was a huge incentive for me.

I had one of the most amazing experiences on that 4 hour drive to the jungle lodging. As we were driving, there was about four meters of cold air in a particular patch. That entire patch was filled with the most beautiful butterflies that I have ever seen in my life. We literally drove right through them and there were so many of them that I had to ruffle them out of my hair and pick them off my t-shirt. That was one experience that will stay with me forever. Little did I know that this vast jungle had more surprises in store for me.

We got to the jungle lodging, and after examining the rooms I realized I had some serious roughing out to do. I don't camp, so the jungle was just way far off for me. Still, I figured it was something new and I love trying out new things so I went along with it and spent my first night there, reading about all the man-eaters that walked that jungle over the years.

The next morning, we were up at five. My boyfriend (being his adventurous self) decided he wanted to go for an elephant safari, where you stalk tigers. So naturally I had to tag along, and mind you I wasn't too pleased about it. The elephant took us through fields of 6 inch high marijuana. The smell was honestly making me dizzy and the fact that I was already so tired wasn't helping matters. I didn't see how we could spot a tiger through all that marijuana. And then it happened. The ranger pointed out a 3 year old female lying in the depths of the intoxicant. She got up immediately and bolted, we however were right on her tail. I have to admit I was ecstatic to finally see one. After four years of coming to this jungle. I finally saw a tiger. It was an incredible sight, seeing flashes of orange and black through all that green and before anyone could take pictures she was gone.

On returning to the camp I felt rejuvenated. I was determined to see another one. I still had a few more days left and this time I was going to get a picture. Later on that day we decided to drive down to the grassland to see if we could spot another tiger. I saw a whole group of crocodiles, vultures and deer, but no tiger. I got lucky and saw a massive monitor lizard bang in the middle of the road. I had decided that it was that, that made me day. Again however the jungle decided to tease me. We saw a herd of elephants with about 6 young calves. My ranger was feeling gutsy and decided to drive right up to them knowing full well that he would come face to face with the protective adults. Sure enough, as we drove closer the adults started trumpeting, warning us to stay away. My ranger however drove right up to them, revving his engine as loud as he could. Now my boyfriend and I were at the back of the wrangler jeep and we thoroughly enjoying ourselves. What happened next, we didn't expect. The biggest male bull ran right up to us, bellowing and his trunk grazed against my back. Any closer and I would've been at the mercy of this massive mammal. This we learnt was called an elephant's mock charge'. Adrenaline pumping, I wanted more, I was slowly opening up to the jungle, taking it all in step by step, and I couldn't understand why I didn't see it all before. I hadn't seen a full blast of a tiger yet, what we saw was just a glimpse. Still, my experiences so far satisfied me enough. Ironic, but for one to understand it, one needs to be there.

We went to bed that night, knowing we had to be up early in the morning as we were going deeper into the jungle. We were moving to another jungle resort which was by the river side. We wouldn't get in till late afternoon and then the plan was to head out for a night watch. The drive back into the jungle was as beautiful as the first. I was really tired however and halfway through I fell asleep; not waking up till we got to the resort. It was a lazy afternoon. Everyone decided to take siestas so my boyfriend and I went out back and spent the afternoon on a hammock. It was really romantic, until an army of fire ants started crawling around the place.

By this time everyone was up. Thoroughly rested and renewed for another tiger tracking session. It was rumored that just around the area was a female and she usually came out a little after seven. What was really amusing was that the park actually shut at seven.

Still driving around, we heard nothing. And then all of a sudden the entire jungle went on frenzy. Monkeys were screeching, we could hear barking deer, the crickets were chirping restlessly and the birds were going ballistic. It was like Pre School, right after the last bell, except these weren't children. They were animals. This was the alarm. There definitely was a tiger here, and she was extremely close.

The guide decided to stop the jeep at the top of a steep road. There was a thick clump of trees on both sides of the road, and a little beyond was a clearing of dried leaves. We got out our binoculars and started looking, turning off the engines. It was at that moment that the entire jungle fell silent. Not a single sound could be heard and even our whispers seemed too loud. The tiger had sat down. This is another amazing thing about the jungle. When the tiger is on the move, the whole jungle sounds alarm. But the moment she sits down, it goes quiet. It was like respect for the king of the jungle.

I kept looking through that clump. Hoping desperately I could spot it, we still were not sure this was the spot. I saw something brown and black and I pointed it out to the guide. He however brushed it off saying it was a deer. But then I looked again and this time I was sure. This was definitely no deer. This was a massive tiger, camouflaged within the dead leaves and the trees. The guide, after my pestering, looked again. And this time, he saw it as well. I grabbed my boyfriends t-shirt, and thrust the binoculars in his hands, "Look fast I said, it's definitely a tiger, I'm not kidding!'. He saw it and signaled to my dad behind us that there was a tiger there.
At that moment I was so ecstatic I could have been jumping up and down. Me, out of all people, who hated the jungle, hated all the wildlife' within my room to the ones actually out there, hated all the waiting and early mornings and being eaten alive by mosquitoes was actually loving the jungle. I loved it; I loved the rush, and the thrill and the stalking and then finally seeing a tiger. It was like the tiger understood what was going through my head. Out of the blue, the jungle went crazy again. She had stood up, only to walk right past us, lazily crunching the leaves beneath her monstrous paws, giving us a full view of her royalty and I was too stunned to even move. It was like she didn't even care. Five cars around her, all clicking away carefully, and she just kept posing almost. "Showoff", I thought. But in my mind I knew this was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Her colors were so defined. Her face was chiseled, jaws taut, teeth massive, eyes a gorgeous amber gold, paws the size of my face, and yet with all those monstrous features, she looked regal and beautiful. It honestly was beauty beyond belief.

She walked right past us, so close her tail touched the side of the car. Considering this was an open jeep, she could have just leaped up into it and pulled one of us away. That rush was unexplainable. Being so close to death, and yet death being so attractive. We just waited. Leaving ourselves out there as bait to see what she did, but she just turned around, gave us another clear head shot and in her royal splendor, disappeared into the bushes.

The rest of the night was a blur for me. The night watch was an attempt to see leopards, however no one was really that psyched about it. Not after what we had all just experienced. We had a barbeque in the middle of the jungle, in an old dilapidated temple. Everyone celebrating the tiger we had managed to finally see. I could hear people's voices raising slowly as the alcohol hit them; everyone was so chirpy and happy. I smiled to myself wondering if that tigress knew what she gave us all that day. If she knew how we were all toasting to her, talking about her, excitement still in our voices as we told and retold the story. Everyone there was giving their own versions, trying in some way to make it his story.

I however felt that this was my story. Sure, everyone else with me had experienced it. But this was in fact my story. I realized that this tigress had given me reason to want to return, she had shown me the beauty of the jungle, all that I had previously despised I fell in love with. She left me with a longing for more. I still remembered how I felt when it was me who had discovered her. I wanted more discoveries. I had made up my mind to return the next summer, and with an orange, black and white haze in my head, I fell asleep.